Weaving ritual into my everyday

Alex sharing her cacao ritual with her children

In my series on motherhood I want to portray the diversity of the motherhood experience and what it means to be a mother now. I’m interested in telling stories through other mamas to give insight into their approach to motherhood; be it their struggles, triumphs, their deepest feelings, how they have evolved and grown, perhaps how they raise their children connected to nature and live with a light footprint, or how they approach mothering consciously. 

I want to portray the essence of motherhood in every family’s unique language and am evolving this series to now encompass how we nourish and feed ourselves and our families, sharing the hands, earth and hearts that feed us.

Today I am sharing Alex’s story. She lives in Christchurch, New Zealand with her lovely wee family of five. 

All photos by Charlotte, Olive & Pop

The art of weaving ritual into my everyday life has been a journey I have been deeply committed to since becoming a Mama. For me, these slower, more sacred moments in the day are what help me to recalibrate and refine my internal response to whatever is going on around me - no matter how chaotic or overwhelming it feels.

I truly believe that anything can become a ritual or be made ceremonial if it is done with intentionality and love. Washing hands before dinner, the placement of plates and cutlery, the first sip of cacao, the opening of curtains at the awakening of the day and the closing of them as dusk falls - these simple, seemingly mundane tasks become filled with aliveness and meaning and purpose - and this translates to our life on a larger scale.

On the days when I feel the internal warring of my thoughts more intensely, or the days my external environment overwhelms my senses, it is these small, sacred acts of self care that become my anchor and my gentle reminder to come back home to myself. In serving myself, I can serve others from a place of wholeness, of willingness, and of love.

I have always been super passionate about food and nutrition. I truly believe that food is medicine and so much of our vitality and wellbeing stems from what we put inside our bodies. Whole, fresh, real food will always be a priority for me.

I love to cook and create in the kitchen, however the realities of having three children aged four and under, along with a part-time job and a household to nurture, means that I don’t get as much time to spend creating beautiful kai as I would like.

I know those days will come, and for now we stick to simple, wholesome food that can be prepped at lunchtime and cooked in 20 mins or less at dinner time. We go for an abundance of vegetables, and I like to focus on high protein intake for my babies and their growing bodies and minds.

Any meal, no matter how simple, can be nourishing if it is made with intention and love. I definitely think there is an energetic element to our food.

To nourish myself to be the best mama I try to be prepared with healthy, grab and go options to hand for the busy times. Chopped veggies and a no-nasties hummus, bliss balls, and banana with peanut butter are some of my favourite options.

Breakfast is a non-negotiable for me. Starting the day with a wholesome, sustaining breakfast sets me up for more focus, balance, and stability throughout the day. Most weeknights I prepare overnight oats for the family so they’re easy to just grab out of the fridge and enjoy before the day really gains momentum.

I believe in getting  most of what we need from wholefoods, but I do also use a few high-quality supplements, mainly to support my stress levels and sleep. Maca powder, functional mushrooms, a greens powder, and a high quality magnesium and ashwaganda are my go-to’s.

I am so overjoyed because Ayla (our four and half year old) has recently started talking about how we need to care for and to thank Papatuanuku (Mother Earth) for growing our food and giving us everything we need. It’s been so encouraging for me as a Mum of little ones - sometimes I say things and wonder if they’re landing or being understood - and moments like this show me that they are.

We are always respectful about our food and the person who prepared it, my husband is amazing at encouraging the kids to thank whoever has cooked their meal for them (usually me).

Sometimes we will group food into the  categories of “brain food” and “soul food” to distinguish between that which we can eat a lot of, often, and that which it is better to savour in small quantities. Seaweed, fruit and vegetables, and hard boiled eggs are some snacks we refer to as “brain food”, whereas ice cream, for example, would be “soul food”. We try not to put too many restrictions on what/how the cubs eat though - they know their bodies well enough to know when they’ve had enough.

I approach food waste as best as I can, but with an ounce of longing to do better! We have a compost bin and I do my best to bulk buy our nuts and seeds etc so as to limit packaging. Tim and the kids plant and grow veges in our home vege garden every season, so we just pick what we need on any given day, but I still feel I could do more. We are in the process of building a home and I dream of a worm bin, an extensive vege garden, and some sort of community food sharing scheme - look out neighbours - haha.

One of the reasons Tim and I decided to have three kids so close in age was a vision for the future of our whanau sharing kai around a dinner table, sharing connection, conversation and laughter. Dinnertime can be pretty busy with three little ones, but we have planted the seed for this future dream by trying to eat together with the kids most nights of the week, even if it is currently a chaotic mesh of chatter, spills, splodges and big emotions!

I have recently made it a priority for Tim and I to have a later dinner together one night a week. Once the kids are asleep we light a candle, pop on some tunes, pour a glass of red, and enjoy each other's company with our Mum + Dad hats off! It’s been so lovely introducing this ritual.

I think part of the reason I am so passionate about wholesome, nourishing food is because of my experiences with food as a child. My parents separated when I was young, and both of them worked full time. Meals were generally something easy, fast, cheap, and filling when our exhausted parents got to preparing it, so freshness was less of a priority, but they did their best.

A lot of our meals growing up were prepared for us by my Nana - who we spent a lot of our time with. She grew up in wartime Britain, and so she was great at making meals that go far on a budget. Think pots of mince stew, corned beef, and big dishes of homemade rice pudding!

The vege garden is a great tool to encourage connection to nature and the food we eat with our kids. And the kids are actively engaged in helping grow kai at their preschool too. The garden where we live has an apple tree, and it is the most satisfying and joyful thing to pluck an apple straight from the tree for eating.

It is challenging times with high food costs and my heart breaks for families at present who are struggling to feed and nourish their families. It should be a birthright that our children have access to healthy sustenance.

We do work to a budget, and are lucky to have some wriggle room, and where possible we try to be efficient by eating foods that are in season and making our own when it comes to things like muesli, bliss balls, and sauces for dishes.

We are a meat eating family and are super lucky to have been given a freezer full of meat that was reared on Tim’s parent’s land. Filling the freezer in bulk like this has been helpful from a cost perspective, and it is nice knowing where our meat came from, what the animals were consuming, and how they were treated.

My biggest tip for cost saving cooking would be not to overlook frozen foods as an option. Veges and fruits that have been snap frozen retain a heap of nutrients and last way longer. I also find that buying produce from a local fruit and vege shop is much cheaper than the supermarket.